Kayak and White Water Phobia.

Have you ever had a fear of white water and of kayaking?

Have you ever just wanted to escape?


Credit: Paul Munton.
Hugh Woods (well in control) on the Tryweryn, Wales, July 2006.

How is a phobia acquired and how is it overcome?

During an attempt to master the Trywerin during May 2005 I took a swim down a rapid known as The Graveyard. It is called The Graveyard because it has a lot of black rocks sticking out amongs the swirling foam and they look like gravestones. Before I got out my thigh hit a rock; by evening I could hardly walk; two days later the bruise had come out on the opposite side of my leg to where the blow had occured. I was off walking and much else for six weeks. In August I took another swim on a fast rapid on a river in the Pyrenees, the Noguera Pallasera. Although unhurt physically the experience was traumatic and I could not get back in my kayak. (It is generally agreed that it is best to get straight back into one's kayak after a bad swim if this is possible). In December the sight of minor rapids on the Usk in Wales filled me with anxiety and I felt unable to kayak the first day of a weekend, instead I spent a day just watching the water and having a quiet pint. Just saying no made me feel more relaxed and in control. On the second day I was able to kayak a part of the river which was mostly just drops. A trainee coach (Elmo) had said to me the previous evening "How about doing some drops?" I automatically replied "yes" and immediatly realised it was specifically swirly white water over rocks that was the source of my anxiety. In December I managed a day sea surfing but had had enough after one day. In January I was unable to paddle with my club because of a dislocated little finger. I supported the group by doing car runs and again I watched the water and thought about how one might approach particular rapids. At Easter I managed two runs of the Ceou, a small river, in easy grade II water and two days later went on the Gorges de la Vezere in rising water. The volume increased by over one third during the paddle and by the end it was some of the biggest water I had ever done. I swam once but it was not traumatic. Nevertheless I was pleased to have felt in control but still anxious at the thought of doing it again, so did not do so. I was stimulated enough to write an haiku about the trip. In July I watched my wife and son do a coached weekend on the Trywerin and felt nervous at the sight of the water but as I studied it and thought how I might deal with it, the water seemed to slow down and become less threatening. In August I paddled the Tarn twice which is easy, and then some grade 3 on the Orbe, a short technical rocky run which I repeated half an hour later. Two days later we moved to the Allier, a beautiful river which was new to us. I did the 2+ 3 run on this and felt well in control and enjoyed the beauty of the river. In the night I had a dream about kaying in which I emerged through an open door on to a river. In the morning I felt very relaxed and from then on I have had no anxiety thinking about white water.

The process seems to be: 1. being able to say "no!" at any time to any kayak trip 2. to watch white water in a relaxed frame of mind and from a secure place and think about how one would deal with it in a kayak; 3. identify which elements of the experience generate anxiety; 4. gradually work back up the grades of water, feeling confident on each in turn but remembering to say no if it seems likly to regenerate anxiety. 5. Maximise all the accompanying pleasures of kayaking at all times, ie. the beauty of the scenery, diversity of the wildlife and of course the pleasures of being with friends.

If anyone else has suffered this problem I hope these comments will be useful. It took two serious swims to generate my phobia and a year of work to overcome it.

Paul Munton